What he's thinking right now

cornflakes.
I should shave my head again.
cornflakes with some sort of meat on them.
steak. chicken. no steak.
no even better, some sort of meat juice or gravy.
how can there be intelligent design when cows give
milk and not just some sort of liquid meat juice?
superior idea.
yes, i should shave my head. that's a superior idea
as well.
its about time that i go yell at someone i think.
maybe i should take a shower with my cat.
that doesn't seem dangerous at all to me.
theres no way that i might get scratched or anything.

What he

Welcome to the Official Parody Site of Ry Jones

Mission Statement: Yes, it's here finally. The universe has been demanding some sort of send up of Ry Jones. Yes, the Ry Jones of airgap, outrageous malfunction and Ry's Boring Website fame. There are so many reasons to roast everyone's favorite self-deprecating liar. Yes, I'm Ry Jones. I make fun of myself because really I think I'm so great but not really because I am so humble when in reality I'm just f3cked up, but because I can admit it I'm not really f3cked up. Really I'm so wonderful. Is this sounding familiar?

People I pity: People who work with Ry. How do you do it? Are you sick of him already or are you stilll buying into his self-promotion? Some day you will see through the illusion. Until then you are strangely irritated just from talking to him and you can't really put your finger on it .....hmmmm? Maybe there's something to that!!! You are still thinking that he's a genius just because he's so irritating and self-absorbed.

Yes, he can read 4 billion words a minute but he has the comprehension of a grasshopper. Where's the food, people? Didn't anyone bring any food to this meeting?

But really that is just the beginning. More later.